Well H seems in a bit of a depressed state today. I had to text him about a bill and he replied then I used the opportunity to make small talk and asked him how volleyball went lastnight to which he replied, "It was OK" which is Danny speak for it really sucked. I replied with something along the lines of tonight's games will be better for you and more fun and to have a good day. He has yet to reply. Now I know you are thinking it was texting how can I possibly figure he is depressed from that but after 19 years you just know.
I am thinking I won't say anything about what I posted above asking for receipts and listings of tools, etc... The kids and I will leave for our trip Sat. and have a blast and then I will re-evaluate things when I return a week later. I would however still like to hear what others think about what I would like to do, opinions are always helpful.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better right now. Just keep your chin up.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
Yuck, not the kind of thing you need happening right now as you plan to take a trip with your kids.
You should look around for an L, but wait until you get the papers before making an appointment. Try to look on the bright side - at least he is not filing for a D.
Keep your chin up and stay positive. You never know what can happen.
Well while S8 was in his therapy session I ran across the street to the circuit court as they have free family law advice from attorneys on Weds. and was given a rather LONG list of things I can and should do in regards to abandonment, spousal support since I have been a fulltime mom for 8 years, emergency injuction to stop him from selling assets, filing for 3 years rights to our marital home, etc....
Wow, I am still so shocked as I had really hoped since he hadn't pushed any of this that he really didn't want this and just needed to get stuff out of his system then come home. Dillusions of grandure I guess as this point. I asked him via text tonight if I would be served before we left on Sat. and he said no so I asked when to expect them and he said he would let me know but that he was unsure of when?!?!?!? WTF does that mean? When we talked earlier today I did the OLD me stuff, the begging, the crying, the pleading...oh lord I had to let it all out. I simply couldn't hold it in anymore. I feel like such a fool for thinking this man I knew for 19 years who put me and his kids ahead of himself ALWAYS would ever hurt us like this.
DAMN!!!!
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
Great that you could get the free advice. I know my county also has the same free advise. My L said they are good for simple cases and for helping with parenting plans, but when there is substantial assets involved, it is best to get an L involved in writing things up correctly. That is if one is doing everything uncontested. Contested is a whole new ball game and is what you are most likely facing.
You are at the similar point I was at back during Christmas. I was going to Mexico with the kids and was concerned that W was about ready to file a D against me. I ended up beating her to the punch by seeing my L before the trip and planned to file when I got back. I felt it important to strike first, plus, I wanted a little shock and awe to possibly wake my W up.
Right now there is nothing you can do to prevent it. Your H is going through with it. Just take your trip and enjoy the time with the kids. I hate to say it, but you will have plenty to worry about once you get back. Who knows, your L's counter to the filing may deliver a serious enough financial blow to your H such that it will make him see during a legal separation how hard his life is going to be if it goes to a D. I really think that you need to think of yourself having an advantage legally right now.
Take care of the legal aspects after your trip and there will be plenty of time to DB your butt off to save your M.
Thanks for the advice. I have had several hours now to think about this and sit on it. I will enjoy my trip with the kids and realize that this is all just paper and until i see ti I really shouldn't worry over it. Once I get them, if he is really doing as he says, then I can beg and borrow some money from family to hire myself a L and let H know that this is going to ruin us both financially because I will FIGHT until no one walks out without blood for the sake fo my children and keeping their roof over their heads and their money coming in for their needs.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
