GOING DARK while my daughter is with my WAW...????

[Dom R]

matt.. if you would like a particular question answered from a prior post... pleas dont repost the entire thing... just retype the specific question you'd like answered, fresh?

Hmm.. seems like I missed a reply that you typed, to my questions to you. going back and replying to that one

SHE initially asked for MC? that's interesting.
Sounds like you have a dumb MC, though. 3 "assessment sessions"?!
You "just need to learn to communicate more"?!!

The MC sounds fairly useless, apart from the following:
He said he doesn't think W knows what she wants and I just need to be patient and give her all the space and time she needs.
I think this is very true. I also think it's important for you to be prepared for the eventuality, that "the time she needs" may be a year or more.

It's no wonder she's not sure if she wants to do MC any more though. that one doesnt sound very helpful. Maybe you should *BRIEFLY* talk to her, introducing the "solution based therapy" idea instead? look up what michelle writes about how it is different from "regular" therapy. it might sound more appealing to her.
Particularly the bits about [you should have something to try out, after 1 or at maximum, 2, sessions]
A female counsellor might also be more appealing to her.
and/or seeing the counsellor by herself. Just make sure that the counsellor isnt one of those "divorce counselors" in disguise, but rather, one who is truely pro-marriage!

I don't think going dark will solve all of my problems but I don't know what else I can try. I feel like I have tried everything else to no avail.

I dont think you've tried everything else. I think there's more that you might do.
I also believe that if you "went dark" right now, it would make her feel like SHE had "tried everything else", and push for divorce, since you had 'given up' on her.
Right now, seems like she's still in only "thinking about it" mode. Dont push her towards making up her mind in the direction of divorce!


You also might consider seeing an SBT, just for yourself. See if "the professional" can suggest more ideas for you.