Ok update on how things are going for me... I am still doing OK without OM in my life, yes there are times that I wish he was there, I know that he was bad for my R with H from the begining. H and I have talked alot about what OM did and why he did it and why I let it happen. Remember it was MY choice for the A, I could have said no. I believe that H is understanding too why it happened and what his part of the problem was, has he come around to own up to it yet, not quite, but that is something that takes time. I know this because it took me a while to finally come to terms with my flaws when H had his A. I guess the whole thing is we both are looking at ourselves to make sure something like this will not happen ever again. One thing that we both understand is that there was a break down of the communication between us, and we are both looking at how that happened and not to let it get to the point that it was. There is one thing that H keeps bringing up when we talk, when he had his A we were constantly fighting and for mine we weren't. He felt because we weren't fighting things were great, but in reality they weren't. Fighting with him was like yelling at a wall, he was not hearing anything that I was saying, and in fact I didn't care to hear what he was saying either. I know at one point during the A I told OM, I don't care what H does it won't change my mind on leaving him. Now in the back of my mind I kept thinging about all of the things that I read about A that when reality sets in everything is not all roses and sunshine. That the A will fizzle out and that feeling of WOW would be gone. Knowing that I still kept on with the A why, that is still something that I am working on, am I looking for an answer in the next week, or even month, no that is something that will take time for me to figure out. This is a bit rambling sorry about that but just some things I thought to get out there.
Now on to better things... H and I have a full weekend planned and even some of it includes our D. We have the last two home hockey games before the play offs start, Friday and Sunday. Saturday night H and I are going to a fund raiser that we have been going to for about 4 or 5 years now. The group that we have been bringing in has been getting bigger and bigger each year. When we started there were 4 or 5 of us, now we have two full tables full, 20 people, funny thing is we don't even belong to the association that it is for. We go because it is a really fun evening out. On Sunday before the hockey game the union that H belongs to is having a pancake breakfast, and Easter egg hunt, before thier normal monthly meeting. So D and I will go for that, and probably stay for the meeting just to see what it's all about, but D and I will play that one by ear.
