I have to sit down and really go thru them when I get chance btw packing and bday parties this weekend havent had a chance.
H will be surprised when he sees the house tomorrow he has no idea I have boxed jsut about evrything except the kithen stuff! This afte he tells me why I am "rushing" him to get his stuff out.
H did say his A said if I do agree on the new settlement ,I would have to come by her office to sign, I think this A is pretty smart! I guess cuz I kept on forgetting to give H my financial papers & wasnt asking for them either and when I did, I gave him the wrong copies. I guess she thinks I am stalling-NOT! Not anymore that is.
Based on what you have posted H wanting to sell the house ASAP is the only leverage you have right now to push for a new settlement including your own terms.
Showing H that you are prepared to sell the house - perhaps contrary to the terms of the OLD settlement is probably not helping you.
You need to sit down, figure out a strategy, and stay focused on that strategy.
I am not a D attorney and I do not know all the facts of your case. Not having a strategy that will enable you to retain an attorney may result in you digging yourself in deeper and deeper into an already horendous mess.
Perhaps Florida law is different and D law is different - but I personally have not heard of a judge throwing out a settlement just b/c one party had changed their mind.
CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES!!! I finally got served!!! I had a feeling it would happen tonight and STBX brought him along, supposedly they claim to have come by the house and seen the lights on and hear the girls but no one comes to the door??Yeah right! I told H I was not hiding and thats why I said to serve me at work where I told the gate man to look out for them.
AG, I noticed that my papers had the wrong wedding date and I pointed that out to him...I wont have to be served again? I know dum question, I think they will correct on their end thats all..
The realtor came by and we signed the papers and there was a place that said if we change our minds before it is sold to NOT sell, the realtor still gets his %. STBX looked at me and made a comment as to making sure I understood that? UH..yes no changing my mind here!
When STBX came in thru the garage & saw all the boxes, he said moving soon?
At my D8 bday party I was talking to SIL and telling her the different places I was looking at and that I would like to rent a house but might have to go into an apartment( I knew this would get back to H). So, as we were talking inside the garage H says, I guess I am taking their bikes right? UH, no..H- well, you dont have a place to put them your going to an apartment right? UH, no where do you get that from? H-As he looks around and thinks...OH! Thats right your moving in w/ your boyfreind in his house!! Whatever I told myself and walked back into the house.
Anyhoo.... It hurt some but oddly enough it didnt hurt as much as I thought it would, H prolly expected me to break down in tears as he stood right over as I signed.
When does it hit them what they've done?
I guess he will use her like me since now she (OW) will have their house in her name. STBX wants to be taken care of and w/out any R. He is loving life over there w/out three screaming, winning kids. If she really wants a MAN she will wake up one day & ask herself what she got herself into.
IN the beginning of our M ,I had the tiny condo where we had all three girls in one room and I was begging H to get into a bigger house. H didnt want "all that responsibility", He even said he didnt want the yard work, etc.
So before he left, he nonchantly tries to negotiate his getting out of 401k. He asked me what I was doing for my health insurance( im thinking what do you care). " I know I am taking care of the girls but what are you doing?
So, I said what are negotiating something here?H- yeah the 401k. I said NOPE!I will negotiate alimony though, I wont ask for any alimony in exchange for you to keep me in your insurance.
H- YOu dont get alimony, you work! <<no duh, mister AND??>> he thinks cuz I work I am not entitled to it?? H- Plus you didnt want it and thats what you signed for. M- OK, as I left the room.
Chicki, I've only gone back a couple of posts, but I wanted to drop this in since your last post was pretty recent.
No D settlement is final until you go to court to sign it, or go to trial.
If there is something that is unfair, (alimony, health insurance, etc.) in the original that you just caught, there is nothing wrong with stopping right there, and saying, "I'm not signing, I need to have MY attorney look this over in light of XYZ," and redoing the settlement.
Your attorney should be able to request and get a continuance based on that with no problem.
Then you can work on the settlement.
I know how it feels to want it over NOW. Don't screw yourself over that, or your kids.
Don't let the "I'm done with you" feeling get ahead of thinking. I'm there right now too, and I'd easily let a lot slip by just to speed things up. Be smart though.
If health ins. for you costs $400-600 / month, (and that's not unusual....) and you're not covered at your job, isn't that screwing over the kids to ignore it?
Maybe you will be at a newer job, but what about right now?
Judges should take that into account, it's a part of life these days, like rent, taxes, and utilities.
You should get the continuance to figure this out if you ask for it.
Best, Punkt.
These are my friends now!
But someday baby... You ain't worry my life anymore
Take away, take away what I don't need, save the good part please. Fade away, fade away.
How do you guys do it when it coems to your kids bday parties?
Is there some kind of "rule" that the EX should be able to be there if they want to?
Or do you just leave it up to the kid's wishes?
All last week H was trying to get me to invite him and I guess thats one reason he offered to pay for it? He made a smart comment saying he was paying for it even though he wasnt attending. I waited to see if the bday girl was gonna sk me to tell dady to coem but she didnt (TGOD)!!
I dont know I jsut felt weird w/ this going on..I felt bad when the adults were asking me where is thier father , but my mom was ther too and I dont know I just feel like the less I see him now, the easier it is on me to distance myself and for me to heal.
How did you people do it? Last year I had no promblem he had moved out in April and we had our girls bday party in June , so it was still soon enough for me to think we could work things out espcially since I had signed his D papers and at that time he confessed he didnt want the D.
Now I need a D party w/ an upside down wedding cake!!
Thanks Happy, I need all the encouragement I can get!!
Punkt!
Yes!! You made a very good point! Everyone @ work complains how crappy our insurance is and I was looking into what I have to pay thinking as a single person I prolly dont have that much of a premium- wrong!
I don't have an answer for you. I am not a D attorney and I don't know anything about Florida state law. The facts of your case are unique - as is every case. There is no one size fits all approach to applying the law. I hired a D attorney myself to advise me on my own D.
You made it clear that you didn't have the money to hire an attorney. I have tried to come up with ideas for you to be able to find funds to retain an attorney.
I feel like I am soundiing like a broken record - IMO, you need to develop a strategy to find the funds to retain a good D attorney that can review your case and advise you based on the specific facts of your case.
I was looking into another legal matter when I cam across some information. Try going to a university with a law department. They may be willing to look over your case pro bono.
