((((LWB))) I know it is initally so hard when they move out, but you do eventually realize the stress is lessened some. I never went through him being at home and having contact with the OW, he moved out and then I found out there was an OW involved. I can't imagine being having to see him go out to meet her like you have.
You are correct there are some silver linings through all of this.
-You don't have to share your babies and they don't have to see the sress that you have been enduring. My DD16 and I have become so much closer during all of this. She has opened up to me so much more. -You cook what you and the girls like, if you want a Lean Cuisine and they want a PBJ sandwich, go for it! -You can read in bed as late as you want without the light bothering anyone. -You and your girls can go and do as you please without having to check in with him! My DD and I have at the last minute decided we wanted to drive out of town to go shopping. It is great knowing I don't have to call and say where we are going or when will be home. -You will find strength and independence that you did not know you have!
You are an amazing woman, and I think soon your husband will begin to see this again soon!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
nocode, I think "M" is right, there will always be ups and downs, and the downs will always hurt (especially concrete ones, like divorce papers). But I pray that the downs will just eventually be a twinge of pain, instead of a raw open wound...someday down the road.
I know we have been talking on each other's threads about praying for the WAS. When I make any sort of wish (fountain, eyelash, silly stuff) or pray, its for my girls, for H, and for us all to find peace. I feel that is what I need to ask for right now. I am slowly finding strength, so I know that is being 'delivered'.
beauty, thanks for stopping by. I realized lately (like many parents) that I have done most of the work in the past with the kids and just hadn't realized it yet. My 'load' is no heavier with regards of what I have been doing since H has been gone. We can do this!
Yoyo, thank you for coming by. I appreciate the support, I really do. And yes, the silver linings are there. Instead of worrying about when H will stop by (to see the girls) we have a pretty set schedule and I do what I want, when I want. I notify him (via text) about our activites or if they have a sitter, but don't really 'ask' anymore.
I have decided to take Easter off and spend the day at home with the girls. No huge family function. The Easter Bunny will come here in the morning, then church, then I'll make dinner for them. H will be invited.
You are such a strong person, and that will only help you in the days ahead! I hope and pray for you and your girls that you will find peace. I know you will.
Taking care of the kids, lets face it you have been there for them 24/7, so this is a no brainer for you. As is me.. that won't feel any different, but being a wife part of it will take some getting use to.
Good for you taking easter off!! Make it a special one for them, whether H comes or not.
Thinking of you.. you are doing great..
Fondly,
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Hey tal, yep, no brainer. We are a well oiled machine here in this house. H still totally helps and the house is spotless when I get home at night. I thank him for helping. But the grunt work-all me. I don't mind this one single bit.
You can get used to the wife role again. It'll come in time. I know you can do it. You are very strong as well, my good friend!
LOL!!! Maybe somewhere close to the bathroom, saying the Easter Bunny couldn't make it to the bathroom....
You know, at our house, the Easter Bunny leaves a trail of M & M's from their beds alllll the way downstairs to their Easter baskets (different place every year). They eat their way through the house.
Our tradition is to have "clues" peppered through the house... "Look somewhere we keep food cold" and stuff like that. Guess which parent in our house is charged with the task of coming up with those? Yep... Dad....
