(((hugs))) to you sweetie. Since I was the almost WAS, of course, I haven't been in your shoes. Now that I know your H is a police officer, it tells me more. I think they see so many terrible things that they have to turn off the emotions and get hard in order to deal with the job. It is hard for them to be able to leave their jobs and the memories they may have seen that day after they go home to their families.
I get the idea that maybe he is wanting IC for himself first, and then have the MC together.
If he leaves again, I would feel the same as you do about it b/c you have a child to consider and all the emotional stuff it is doing to him.
Just keep taking it hour by hour and do the best you can. I remember my emotions would change that often when I was thinking about walking away from my M. I would get up in the morning and maybe think, "Ok, I'm going to stick with the M and make it work" and by that evening I had totally changed my mind. So, his emotions may still be up and down for a while. He has tried to do what he knows is right and he is wanting his emotions and everything to catch up with his volition......it just doesn't always work that way. I think the central theme for almost all the threads here is "time".....it takes a lot of time.
We are here for you. You will have times you feel you "backslide".......but who doesn't? I think you are going great. Just don't pressure. Do you think he keeps bringing up about the C b/c he knows you want it or b/c he really wants it for himself also?
Take care.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
