No kidding. You know at first, I knew it was going to be difficult, extremely so, for H. He's been unbelievably wishy-washy with everything for soooo long. I KNEW this was going to be hard, but I honestly never thought it would be this tough for me. I didn't think there would be much I would have to adjust to. Little did I know ! My patience with H has worn VERY thin over the last few years, although I knew it was vital if there was ever going to be a chance for reconciliation. The patience is still there, I know it is. However, it's very fine and brittle. I have to work on strengthening it.
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Try not to take the things he says personally. Don't argue back with him. Eventually he will get tired of yelling at someone who isn't yelling back. Just let him throw his temper tantrum by himself.
I used to do this! All the time during our S. I knew it was the only way I could maintain my sanity. Made H crazy, but I didn't care. I refused to let him get to me. I was so good at controlling my actions/reactions, and now, I don't know what's happening . I'm losing it. Perhaps it's the stress of the sitch. It's awkward and a bit tense (for me, can't speak for H but I would guess it's about the same for him). H and I haven't been around each other this much in ...... sheesh, I can't even recall! Had to be long before the bomb hit. Even longer than that, actually, so I'm talking like 4 or 5 years at least.
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I know the arguments are draining, but I believe he wants to be there. It is going to take a lot of work and a lot of patience. I am glad he is packing things up and staying there more.
I'm glad, too, and I also believe he wants to be here. Problem is I'm forgetting this.
So I need to remind myself everyday:
My H wants to be here. He told me so. I must do whatever I possibly can to make him feel comfortable and at home. He loves me, I love him. He wants to be here. Make it work. Make it right.
Patience. Empathy. Patience. Kindness. Patience. Love. Patience. Time. What else? Oh yeah! Above all else, PATIENCE.
I can do this. I know I can. I might feel like giving up sometimes, but I will not. I refuse to. I've come so far. I've got to keep going. Keep going forward. No matter what.
But you'd better believe that I'll be here to b*tch and moan when I need to!
Well I wanted to post more, but it's getting late, and S3 is still up! Gotta get him to bed.
Goodnight, everyone. Sleep well.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
! My patience with H has worn VERY thin over the last few years, although I knew it was vital if there was ever going to be a chance for reconciliation. The patience is still there, I know it is. However, it's very fine and brittle. I have to work on strengthening it.
. I'm losing it. 
Perhaps it's the stress of the sitch. It's awkward and a bit tense (for me, can't speak for H but I would guess it's about the same for him). H and I haven't been around each other this much in ...... sheesh, I can't even recall! Had to be long before the bomb hit. Even longer than that, actually, so I'm talking like 4 or 5 years at least.
