I read a devotional this morning that suggests we bring our burdens to God like we would as children, who are not bashful about asking for what they need. It said to listen as a child of God through faith in Jesus Christ and to turn these problems and concerns over to Christ, knowing that "He loves you and is able to help you."
It got me to thinking. What would I most want to ask of God? What thing in my life would I need most for my Lord to take from me and to fix? If I could choose any one thing, above everything else, what would it be that I would want God to take care of?
Would I ask God to repair my marriage? Is that the most important thing to me, or what I need the most? Actually, no -- though that would seem the most logical, that is not the most important thing to me right now.
The most important thing to me right now is my W's soul. The thing I would want the most is for my W to return to God, to find her conscious and to repent of her sins -- even if she still does not want our M, I would rather have her faith and steadfastness in Jesus be restored, for the sake of my S's. My S's deserve the mother she promised to be, the God-fearing, honest and giving soul she once possessed. Even if I can't have her, I want God to have her again.
I think that is what haunts me the most about her betrayal, this avoidance and twisting of her faith.
