Karen and Friend have such great replies. I ditto them.
The one thing I can add is don't listen to people who want you to "get over it".
We all get over it in our own true time. Those of us here in Surviving know that it takes a very long time to "go on" with our lives. Only we know when that is. So my advice would be to listen to your own heart. You will know when the deal is done. Only you. It doesn't matter how long it takes anyone else.
My other suggestion is to say the Serenity prayer every day and to look up Charles Swindell's "Attitude". Somebody up there made me go to Hyman's in Charleston and find "Attitude". It's a good way to live our lives. That's my motto and I try to live by it now. I know in my heart that if I had had the attitude then that I have now I would not have hurt as much as I did when X left. I look at both every single day of my life and try to live by each. I feel those two little prayers/sayings have made me a better human. In fact, I've given "Attitude" to those who need it most.
The other thing that is dear to my heart is to know and empathise with how the kids are. So many times we are so wrapped up in our grief and ourselves that we don't see what damage is done to our babies. Especially if those babies are older. A lot of times, we just don't know. Mine are first, as are most of us in the DB world. It may take a lifetime for them to get over it, but if they have one parent who they KNOW loves them, it makes all the difference in the world. Especially teenagers.
All our kids want is to be happy and to come home to a happy one. Hence my name.
