Listening for surprises...

[ediemarie]

It's been awhile since I've posted. Not a whole lot going on. It's strange, I just feel like H and I are living our lives - not really working on anything, not really actively changing our R. And I think this is a good thing. There was a time when any spare moment I had I was pouring over a R-improvement book, or some other self-help book. Now, we're just living our lives and it's good. But at the same time we're both aware of the help our R needs.

Tonight we went out for dinner for the first time in a LONG time - last month we added up how much we spent in eating out in a months time ($700 bucks a month, btw) and we both cracked up laughing and said, yup we've got issues. So we've curtailed the eating out to 2 times a week. Tonight he looked at me over our anitpasto appetizer and small pomadoro pizza and said "I think eating out is good for us. We talk so much more, and I feel so connected to you." That was so super sweet to hear. So nice. I grabbed his hand and said, "I love spending time with you." Later on, after a switch in conversation I said, "H, I'm glad you think about what makes things between us better. That is really great. Thank you." We had fun. A really nice time.

No real change on the sex front. Although before dinner, he did throw me up onto one of the counters in the kitchen and said, "that's the way a real man does it" all flirty like. He was just kidding around, but these moments are becoming more frequent. He is trying to be playful and affectionate.

I think it's going to take a little longer for him to come around. He has been having major issues with some kidney stones. He's been in and out of Dr.'s offices and ERs. He was hospitalized for 3 days last year at this time with a kidney infection due to kidney stones - and he has been having similiar pain this month. So, we're waiting to get some test results back - in the meantime he has absolutly no sexual desire. I'll just maintain my patient stand.

Although - I did read a saying today, that I had read before and had forgotten - "what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?" Hmmm... made me think of all the ways I would...well...you know...

Hope everyone is well!
Em