Out of the Blue?

[kturnernc]

Yesterday I resisted the temptation to talk about her and this decision she has made on splitting. She started talking to me at work about a bill that got mishandled by the power company. Since my name was on it, I had to take care of it. There were also records that she needed according to her lawyer about past power records. Anyway, during the conversation she brought up for the first time the idea about buying me out of the house and refinancing it. This was a blow to me just a bit. I knew it was going to happen at some point so I kind of rolled with it. The we started talking about bills and other finances. She told me that to her it did not make sense to her that i would be struggling because I made more than her!! Hahaha. I do, but only by a little and she only works 2 days a week. I told her that she could always work more if she wanted. She agreed but added that then there would be day care costs associated with that and did i want to pay for that as well... uh, I thought that is what Child support is...

Anyway, I told her that I would think about some things that were said and get back with her at a later time. One of the big things is that in order to refinance the house, she would borrow against her 401k. Well the kicker for that is that 2 years ago, we borrowed against it (her idea) and are still paying it back. In order to be able to borrow this time (and have her buy me out) we have to pay off the remainder. To do that she wants to borrow cash advance against all our paid off credit cards and then pay that back once she gets the money. It seems as if it is an example of borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. I am not sure that I want to borrow even if she intends to pay off the loan first of all. It seems risky with as sketchy as she has been as of late. Granted both of our names are on all cards, so it would not be only on me.

This finance shifting around is really bothering me. I had just figured out my finances and there is very little wiggle room right now. I am trying to simplify things and this just seems another way to screw things up. I don't know. I just need to think on this and let it sit for a few days.

On the upside, she finally made an appointment to meet with my therapist. This was his idea before he started couples couseling for us. I do not hold much hope right now for the sessions, because she has stated many times that she is only doing it so we can be better friends for the kids. But it is a step.

Oh, also decided to participate in the St. Baldrick's celebrations and had my head shaved in support for cancer kids!!! So far it has been VERY heartwarming. I have been wanting to do it for years, but W got angry everytime i brought it up. No idea why. Anyway, I did it for me!! I think it is something that I will do every year now. I got the warm fuzzies. Wow, sorry this was so long. I just started typing...