I hate to tell you this, but it is probably considered joint debt.
When I got D, I had about $13,000 in student loans incurred over a period of years that H and I both used to live on while I was in school and working, and he was doing very little of either. It was joint debt that we decided to take on together.
H had about the same amount of debt. All of his $13,000 was incurred in a matter of months with his GF, buying her a car, furnishings, travel, etc...
Because we were married, all of this was counted as joint debt, and the debt cancelled out.
PLEASE quit talking to H about this stuff. It is not going to help. When you tell him, "THAT is your debt," you are going to get him in a defensive mode, scrambling to go to a L, finding out things that are not to your advantage.
PLEASE quit telling him your strategy. If you are using a mediator, there is no reason for him to even know about your L.
PLEASE quit saying things to H that make it sound like he deserves whatever kind of rough financial time he is going to have. Whether or not this is true, H does not believe it is true. You give him ammunition and bolster his view of you as the enemy, thereby making YOUR chances of a good settlement less likely.
Stop talking, stop sharing strategy. It is not going to help. He will not see things your way.
