Feeling hope

[SueS]

Oh Luv-

I have tears in my eyes for you right now. I'm so glad to hear that he's finally home. Yes, the work starts all over again now, but you can do it. You've come a long way.

Yeah!!!

SueS

[Sara]

Luv,

Congratulations! I'm glad he's back and getting a job. Don't put off the Retrouvaille. It will help enormously. this is dangerous business, this piecing. It's like trying to cross a minefield. The sooner you go to Retrouvaille, the sooner you will have the tools and the skills to really work together toward a happy marriage.

[saffie]

Luv,

That is the best news I have had all day; infact that's made my day - I can't begin to tell you how happy I am for you.

Well done

[LuvMyHusband]

Thanks everyone! Yes, I'm very happy. He is processing with his new job now. You know, drug testing, physical, etc. I feel like the weight is starting to fall from my shoulders.

[LL44]

This is so wonderful to hear!!! Take care.

[fightingirish]

luv,

YEAH!! Im soooo happy for you!! Baby steps, you guys can get through it!!

[LuvMyHusband]

Good morning everyone,
Ok, my H is here. Has been here since my last post. So why do I still feel so afraid? I feel insecure and afraid that he won't stay, that he will decide to leave again. We have both hurt each other alot. I have worked hard to make changes and feel that I have succeeded in some ways. He has told me that he is staying and isn't planning on leaving. I worry that he is still in contact with someone else and isn't really fully committed to me yet. On the other hand, he IS here and he IS going back to work. He has also stated that he isn't sure he wants to move so we may take the house off the market. Any way, I would appreciate any comments and thoughts.

[saffie]

It's natural to have these doubts - you have been through such a lot. Just don't do anything that he could perceive as you going back to your old ways. You need to try to trust him and act as if it is all going as it should be. DO NOT SNOOP OR CHECK UP ON HIM. Take him at face value unless he really shows himself not to be playing things straight.

I felt like that about my H for a long time but he has never done anything to make me now. Just know that these fears are normal, acknowledge them, and then store them away - they are just destructive.

Think about how far you have come. You can do this.

[LuvMyHusband]

Thanks for the words of encouragement Saffie. This is really hard. No, I do NOT want to go back to my old ways. I really didn't like myself very much back then. I truly want trust and faith in our relationship. I keep telling myself IF he is doing anything that he shouldn't be then it's on him not me. I can't control what he does so what does it matter if I know. The cycle has to stop somewhere. He has also told me that he has never felt like he even had the chance to feel guilty and stop doing things on his own because I always knew what he was doing which just made him angry. He wants the opportunity and control to make changes himself. That's understandable. I can't help but worry though. I do not want any more hurt between us.

[LuvMyHusband]

Hi Everyone,
Well, I have been burned. My H left yesterday while was gone to the store. No word or indication that he was going to leave. I left to go to the store. The kids were gone to school. He called me to see where I was and when I was coming home. I came home and he was gone. I called his cell phone and he said he was going back to California. He didn't say goodbye to me or the kids. I was devastated. He said "he wasn't ready yet". I'm done. I'm filing for divorce. I couldn't believe he would play such a cruel game with me or the kids.