GOING DARK while my daughter is with my WAW...????

[Dom R]

I dunno about "the question from your first thread", methinks you should ask it again here, and stick to one thread

I hate to say it, but... sounds like your wife is basically regretting getting married and having children, and wishes she had/could party more. She's only 24; she may be feeling that.
Rather than recognize that she is in a situation of her own choosing... seems like she wants to put the blame on you for it.
Thus the resentment and total lack of cooperation with you trying to make your lives better. maybe she'd rather sabotage and destroy your current situation (so she can justify "escape" when she makes herself miserable enough), rather than improve the marriage.

You claimed "her maturity may have passed mine for a bit in certain aspects of life like retirement. "
I think that's not neccessarily "maturity", but rather, simply "looking out for #1".

My personal definition of maturity, would be more along the lines of, "taking responsability for your own actions/choices; being willing to do things that arent 'fun', because of the overall benefit; and being considerate and willing to sacrifice some personal freedoms/enjoyments for the benefit of your family".

Doesnt seem like your wife is willing to do any of that. So, she doesnt fit my own personal definition of maturity, anyways.

Soooo... maybe all you can do right now, is stand back a bit, give her space, be the mature person yourself for your daughter.. and hope that in a year or three, your wife actually wants to be a wife and mother again

I'd say still attempt to be nice to her, and occasionally invite her to things... but if she wants nothing to do with you... then dont get in her way.
That's not to say you should say, "sure, if you want to be divorced, I'll help you", though. I'd suggest just encourage her to do her own things, if that's what she wants.

There's a thought. Rather than trying to drag her out WITH you... perhaps look around for things you know she would like doing by herself, then offering, "Hey, there's .... I'd be happy to watch our daughter if you'd like to go to it yourself"

oh, wait... you're separated now, though. that makes things difficult.

maybe you should move back.
The positive reasons for you doing so, would be

#1: because you miss your daughter!!
#2: because you would like to help your W more.

depends a lot on what her emotional state is right now though.
What did the counsellor say? both to you, and to her?