Going to try one more time....

[COG]

Ali,

I think it's great that your H is open to change, and asking you to let him know what changes would be best for you. Wow, that's got to feel nice. You should carefully take advantage of that. Just stick to the big stuff, like his temper, drinking, etc.

Now about YOUR changes. Seems like he's not getting the response from you that he'd like to get. We men are pretty simple so my guess is that once you discover what he needs, it's going to be pretty easy to keep him fulfilled.

Men are often criticized for "only wanting sex", well reality is that sex holds the key to most mens hearts, and contrary to our societies view, that's not a bad thing. The act of being physically intimate in itself tells us most of what we need to hear from our women, no other words are necessary. And the intensity level of the sex, shows us the intensity level of the passion our women have for us. It's all about communication, not ejaculation. That's something I wish every woman, especially my woman, knew about men and their desire for sex.

We're looking for recognition that we're loved, desired, and are worth the complete affection of our woman, and that ultimate recognition is spelled SEX. I think most women see mens sexual desire as a physical need, but I assure you it is far more an emotional need than a physical need. We can take care of the physical need ourselves, usually at the drop of a hat, but the deepest emotional need can only be fulfilled by our loving partner. It's all in their control.

If only more women would see this as a prescious opportunity instead of another duty or burden. Ask most men and they'll probably say it's THE most important thing a woman can give her man. The heck with the laundry, the meals, the dog, the bills, the crappy attitude, have sex first, keep sex first, and take care of everything else after that.

Now after saying all that, your man needs to give back to you the things that make you feel that emotional fulfillment. It's a two way street. So this is an opportunity for you to give it all to him, AND to teach him about YOUR needs.

I love your attitude!

COG