That is the problem..... you have to fix everything, but you have to do it with your hands tied behind your back! This is my biggest gripe about people, how they want everything but then they set limits on how it can be done, thus making the task impossible. I cannot help you then.
Retrouvaille works, but you both have to go there and make an effort. Without effort there is no change. With no change you get more of the same. And you know what more of the same is. Retrouvaille is not counseling. Absolutely not counseling. No one tells you what to do or even asks about your problems. They tell their stories and show you how they solved their problems. And such problems!!! Yours will pale in comparison. And yet, step by step they solved them themselves with careful communication and love. No one says it's easy, but they all know that you wouldn't be in this fix if you could solve it yourself without help.
I'd buy the damn fan. He wants it, and by doing it you show you care about what he wants. What's $10 or $20 if your marriage suffers for the lack of spending it?
