"I guess I'll have to get myself a copy of PM and see if it can offer me anything."
Look, if you ever get past all this, you'll see that the almighty division between the WAS and the LBS really isn't all that great. The people who find themselves here weren't in healthy Ms. The WASs simply take action first, typically in a way the LBS doesn't like. But it is easy as an LBS to criticize the WAS. Oh, the LBS would have done things so much better. Blah blah blah. Of course, the LBS never had to get up the nerve to act. You are SO HUNG UP on being right, that you can't even bear to think that someone might think you a WAW. Look, if a WAS is so evil, then why is anyone trying to reconcile?
The two biggest problems with being a WAS are easily avoidable:
(1) CLEAR WARNING: Write H an email that says, "H, I am very unhappy in our M. It is not working for me. I am seriously thinking about leaving. Count this as fair warning. If our M doesn't change into an R that works for me, I will pursue a D."
(2) NO CHEATING: Don't start dating/having sex with other people until you make it clear to H that you consider yourself free to date/have sex with other people and you will not be sharing further information about your private life with him.
If you do those things, then you are cleared of any evil-WAW charges that someone might try to lodge against you. I would say, try to keep an open mind after separation. But if you separate, you'll probably be DONE. So, that is probably pretty unrealistic. But, that is OK. You are allowed to close the door on an R that is unhealthy for you, if that is what it comes to.
