Frank...can't agree more with what deb13 has written. I can honestly tell you..now..being in the storm...that I can see why people avoid or shun being in it. It sucks. Plain and simple. Who wants to hear..from the person that we walked down the aisle with...that failure was all our fault... that we suck...and that they are going to take us to the cleaners. Perhaps, the word you used, codependence, seems infinitely easier to do..then face D. But what happens IF that M IS destructive?

If I can...I remind you of one of my chats way back when with DB Chuck, who, after me going on and on about what was going on with my M..the books..etc...he stopped me in mid-sentence and told me that his head was spinning.

He told me to put down the books....stop working on the M...and just enjoy life.

Frank...do the same. Divest yourself from the M right now. Too much analysis. You have no control of her right now and she is going to drag you down the drain with her. Focus on you. Channel your energies away from her and the M right now and refocus them on rejuvenating YOU.

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;