A: No. Love may be a choice, but you can't make that choice for H, and he isn't making it. Moreover, I don't think love really is a choice. You can CHOOSE to give love a chance, support it, nurture it, and so on. But, you simply can't point at some person at random and choose to love them.
Just wanted to comment on this one point. I think this is something a lot of us struggle with. Oldtimer, you are correct in that you can't decide to love just anyone at random and hope that it works, but I don't think that is where the majority of us started out. (with the exception of arranged marriages)
For the most part, we all started down this relationship path falling madly and head over heels with the perfect partner and at some point decided to take the plunge and get married. A few years down the road is where the 'decision' to love really needs to kick in. Life, responsibilities, stress, etc come knocking on the door and we forget that a long term, committed relationship takes a lot of nurturing and work. Falling in love typically just happens. Maintaining that love is where the decision is.
