I appreciate your determination to make your marriage work.
Pamper yourself a bit. If you feel groovy and "all that" you'll be more centered and clear about asking your husband for what you want.
One or two VERY IMPORTANT POINTS.....
Because you post on the infidelity thread, most of us here are in situations where detaching, "going dark" and the Last Resort Technique are the only way we can survive our situations. They are not probably as useful for your marriage situation. We are all in fire-fight mode, which doesn't always assist communication.
If I were you I would re-read The Divorce Remedy and implement Michell's advice about asking for what you want in small, positive, bite-size steps.
Perhaps even another book like the Seven Principles of a For Making a Marriage Work by Gottman might be more positive and useful for you.
