Again thanks! Last night for the first time I truly felt as if I could slowly start to truly detach. Not just make believe like I am. You are also right that him leaving may make things easier to do so. When he leaves and I am alone with my son for a couple of days..there is a calmness in the house and I am more at peace.
Not to say that I don't want my H here, because I do, but not with what is currently going on.
The is a part of me that hopes he can move out and stay somewhere else and I have even said to myself that the more time he spends with OW the faster he will get to know that OW is not perfect either. But that doesn't mean that he will realize that I am a better choice. I feel like for the last couple of months I have been trying to do the impossilble. And that being:
Show my H that I can change....be playful and fun...try to create peace at home....not be angry....and honestly all of this has felt awkward and fake. I haven't given up, but I think I am starting to understand that it doesn't matter what I do...My H needs to go through this process and where it leads him I just don't know. I have to focus on me and my son and do what feels right for us.
In the end, I hope that my H journey brings him back around, but for now I guess I am going to try and not focus on that.
Easy today.....may not be so easy tomorrow!!!
M 37 H 37 Married 2yrs (together 7yrs) Son 4yrs old and H has Daughter 11 yrs old H involved with OW since Jan 08 and still seeing OW Still under same roof, but H spending more time with OW as time goes on
