Perhaps, I did a little of this the other day...sent text to WAW regarding 5D...she immediately called my home phone. I was outside or something and never heard the phone so machine got it. I never got the message until the next morning when I then sent a text answering her questions. I guess it creates mystery but I didn't get anything that would be considered a reaction from her regarding it.
Matter of fact I've let the machine or voice mail get last 5 calls from her. Returning them whenever I get in the right frame of mind...sometimes it was shortly thereafter, sometimes next day...just depends...I guess that is mystery...my WAW will not call unless absolutely necessary, so it's kind of hard to create mystery in this respect. Kind of easy to count 5 in such a long period...Not even sure if it even is something that would effect/bother her.
However, I would like to caution that bringing in a 3rd party (which I know has been an option some of you've considered) to create jealousy may create some toxic anger from the spouse. Plus, it seems to me in this case, that the 3rd party is just being used as an object to create jealousy.
Laurie is so right on here with the jealousy thing! It never worked with my H......I mean never. What I meant was that I did not get the desired results. What I got was his anger toward me. To him, I was in the wrong! Period over and out! To him, I knew better to present myself or my actions in any such way. Now, those times that he probably was a little jealous.....I never knew about it b/c whatever was going on that he saw he knew I was innocent of any wrong doing. You know what I saw in his eyes? Not anger toward me, but pure pride and admiration of his wife! Now, ladies and gentlemen is worth pure gold.
Don't play games by using another person for your mission to make your spouse jealous. Believe me when I tell you it will backfire big time. Plus, it could cause a lot of unwanted problems with a third party.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
However, I would like to caution that bringing in a 3rd party (which I know has been an option some of you've considered) to create jealousy may create some toxic anger from the spouse. Plus, it seems to me in this case, that the 3rd party is just being used as an object to create jealousy.
Laurie is so right on here with the jealousy thing! It never worked with my H......I mean never. What I meant was that I did not get the desired results. What I got was his anger toward me. To him, I was in the wrong! Period over and out! To him, I knew better to present myself or my actions in any such way. Now, those times that he probably was a little jealous.....I never knew about it b/c whatever was going on that he saw he knew I was innocent of any wrong doing. You know what I saw in his eyes? Not anger toward me, but pure pride and admiration of his wife! Now, ladies and gentlemen, that look is worth pure gold.
So, don't play games by using another person for your mission to make your spouse jealous. Believe me when I tell you it will backfire big time. Plus, it could cause a lot of unwanted problems with a third party.
P.S. This is kind of fun, isn't it? It is about to get this old blood stirred up again. No telling what I might think up to do. And, I am in Piecing.....so I'm already ahead...lol.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Well, don't know what happened to get a double posting there. I was just going to add a P.S.
Anyway, after reading the rest of this forum, I have seen that it is for LBS that are trying to cause mystery to intice their WAS. And, some are having to live under the same roof, but there is an A with OP going on, etc.
Since I am in Piecing My Marriage Back forum, I would like to add this (done posted twice, mights as will go for the charmer). Some of you had some great ideas! I loved them. If I was in the same boat, I would pick out several of the ideas given. However, I want to agree with one of the poster, and can't remember now which one, but this is the point.......in all of the "fun" of thinking up things to be more mysterious, it concerns me that some are going to get into deeper trouble b/c they are living on the edge of a "lie". However, here is the thing......you don't have to lie about anything. You don't even have to be deceitful (which is the same as a lie), but just get involved in GAL for yourself. Do the things that you think will spark interest in your WAS, but not to the point that you are going to be telling a lie or that will place you in a worse place with your spouse. If you know what I mean.
In other words, the point is to cause mystery and interest, but not mistrust. You see, when I read some of the beginning post, I got all excited and was thinking, "yeah, that would be fun to do!" But, you see, I personally cannot do those things b/c in my case.......I was the spouse that broke the trust in my M, therefore I have to be careful not to do things that would looks suspicious to my H and think that I was seeing OP.
I don't belong on this forum but I think it is very good to give each other ideas and it helps about GAL too! I just wanted to put my more than usual 2 cents worth in the pot and caution you about what you do.
Good luck to all of you.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Well....wow....thanks sg, that means a lot to me. BTW, I have some great news if you want to jump over to Piecing and read my post I sent to DomR early this morning.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
My W is living with our D24, I had picked up D from work to take her home. D's BF asked if I was staying for dinner, I said no I'm meeting a friend for a couple of drinks. D's BF said Big Mike's got a date, I didn't deny or confirm. Upon leaving W said have a good time. I went home, D19 was there she's very close with her mom, I acted to be in a big hurry, told D I was going out, called my work cell from my personal cell that I changed the number on. D said i got a call, but didn't answer it, she didn't recognize the #. I then "called" the number back, said I was running about 15 minutes late myself. Left the house , went to see some friends that I used to bowl with. Came home and parked my car on the next street over.
Guess who drove past the house on her way to work at 4:30 Sat AM. Now she asking the kids and my best friend if and who I'm dating. W filed for D and now she's wondering if I'm dating? ebry time I go to D24''s house I only stay a little while, look at my watch all the time and say I've got to go, if asked I say to have a drink, dinner or to see a movie with a "friend" W has become more friendly and interested since .
Mike
M 51 W 49 S26 S25 D24 D19 Married 27 yrs T over 30 S 7/12 D-bomb 9/26
WAW called the other day to tell me about the time change, I said I know, I've been out all night with no sleep. She said "ohhh really" and I then told her about my truck breaking down...I really wanted to tell her what I did before the break down, but she didn't ask. Maybe the "ohh really" is mystery or perhaps she is judging. However, she doesn't know where I was or what doing prior so maybe that will get her curious a bit.
