It was all about me! I did still love her, but I did honestly feel sometimes like I wasn't in love with her anymore. I never told her that, but I am sure she could tell. It was like the whole world was against me for some reason. Looking back it was weird how it all worked. My wife told me on several occations that I was having a MLC and I just laughed. (She was right!!)
The bad thing about this is that there is nothing you can do for her other then work on yourself just like the book says. Start doing for you, but still be there for her in a way. I know that is hard balance and I am having problems with that right now in my sitch, but it seems to be working already!
See, I didn't care because I felt cheated, worthless, etc. My "dreams" that I tought I had were slipping away. I asked myself "is this really all I get?" But when it came down to it, I really didn't want to loose my wife and family. They kept me grounded in a way and at the end I love them so much. I really feel guilty for putting them through that, but I guess it happened for a reason. All I can say is I am a much better father and husband now, not that I was horrible to start with (other than during that time...)
You do have some responsibility, but its not all on you. You just have to make the changes that you know you need to for yourself. She will see that and that is really all you can do.
