I really wonder some times how much more of all of this I can take. My heart has been completely broken by him and he just keeps on seemingly getting worse. Sometimes, I have hope and other times I feel like I am crazy for even thinking that we could be back together.
My H hates life and people and responsibilities. I am pretty sure he is still infatuated with that stripper and he definitely still goes to see her. He has become a huge alcoholic. He admittedly says he is depressed and cant sleep, and spends money like its going out of style. There is just no resemblences of my old H left for me to cling on to anymore. It sucks!
I will try to keep my mind off of him this week. I did art with a friend last night. I have v-ball on wed. and trivia night on thurs. and my weekend is filled with going out and bowling.
Everytime I get my mind off him for a bit, the memories (good and bad) come rushing in and flood me with emotions that I simply don't know how to deal with anymore. I feel like I just want to go to sleep and wake up when this is all over.
I know I have to be strong and have patience, but I feel like I am having a break down and it is coming upon a year of me feeling this way and I just don't like it anymore. TIPPER
