Still Confused - Just not as fresh

[Snow White]

Neecy,
Looking back over your posts, I'm not seeing where you have EVER been able to truly detach, and let him stew in his own mess for even a few days at a time, much less the weeks or few months that it may take. (It took THREE MONTHS with my wife).

I could be wrong, but I honestly think that if you could do that, and maintain your boundaries, that he may come around. It's always "may," because you can't control him, but unless I missed it in your past threads, I'm not seeing where you've ever truly done that?

Puppy

No, I have not. I don't seem to know how to properly set or maintain these boundaries. It must seem like all of you are talking to a brick wall with me, but when I say my boundary is not contacting her anymore and he says that won't happen, what should be a realistic consequence to this?

I did look at the list of boundaries you had laid out for your wife and H never has contacted OW in my presence. It would be if I left the house or when he is driving to and from work or "going to the store". I still (maybe stupidly) believe that they do not actually see one another since she has transferred stores.