I feel this is so futile and miss her so much that I physically feel pain inside. This is so hard, I feel terribly broken hearted. I have never felt such an swful sense of missing someone before. I feel so hopeless, like this is all over. I can't tell how to read any of this anymore. I feel SO empty and hurting.
Tears because I know so much how this feels , I know its going to be of little help but its something that you will get through , its part of the process.
The positives
Its great that shes going to counciling ( My W has always refused ) Its great that even at this stage she shows that she cares even if she thinks your R is over.
Right now you need to take your focus off her and firmly on to you and what you need to do. This can be a long haul so you need to be fit and healthy both in physical terms and mentaly.
With your W think about how she feels when you are around. Does she see a Confident man who is getting on with life and is not making her feel guilty and bad about what she is doing ?
This is where you need to get to , if she feels guilty when she sees you then shes going to avoid contact.
I take every opportunity to tease my W when i can , she enjoys it so she starts seeing me as fun. I went round and mowed her lawn , woke her up so she was not amused , I told her too bad you awake now so I will finish . She sees me as confident and not wimpy .
Yet I still wake up in the morning aching because she is not there , but she never sees that or hears about it , that will make her feel guilty and its a negative. An example , when she moved into a more permanent home recently she saw that I was upset by that and I told her how tough it was etc , her response was to suggest we should have less contact.
I know it seems counter intuitive to pretend to be happy but you want contact to have any chance of a new R .
Get back into Divorce Remedy and in particular the section on cheesless tunnels.
