LOL, shortcuts, Oh my, I have made so many mistakes with my attempts at reconciliation. Imagine being really close to someone and knowing that the person you are with is you life! and in your eyes your only future because you love them so much. Then one day you do something or allow something to happen that hurts the relationship to the point that its holding on by a thread. You keep seeing images in your head of a future where you are painfully alone and you look to the past where you weren't and you feel so bad and wonder how you will go on not so much because "you" can't but don't want to without your soul mate. This person you want more than anything in the world to have close because thats where you normally were now finds you to close, needs space but you don't know how far to step back to give it to them. You don't know what to do, emotions are high, advice from friends and family almost seems meaningless since you are still fixated on the what you have lost. I felt these feelings when my wife left me and by not dealing with them correctly I caused other problems by not seeking help. Depression is powerful and so many things contribute. I recently started seeing the counselor because I was dealing with those feelings again and I didn't know why. I now know where they came from, what caused them and what will keep them from being a problem in the future. I am still not happy with my past actions or my life but know that with the help of a counselor I am able to make corrections for my life which will also have a positive affect for those around me. I honestly believe that even with what I have learned from counseling, lots or reading and studying that my x wife would have still left because its what she wanted to do. There was nothing that I could have done to help the situation. I am not happy about the marriage breakup but very happy with the lady that I did meet through all of this. She as well has had similar problems in her life and I have learned from her. This is the long winded version of me seeing that something was wrong but I was unable to actually address it and sought the help of a counselor who helped change my perspective. Seek, I hope you find peace, I would also suggest not looking at his personal info. Looking only causes more problems and just raises that level of anxiety even higher. Seek, it gets better.
