My H just left after bringing back our dog. He seemed to be in a good mood and yet not. I got us some takeout because I knew he'd be hungry. He really enjoyed the dinner and asked me about my trip. I was very upbeat, and tried to be.
H: Do you prefer a cruise or this trip? Me: Both - they're different. (Me wondering: Was he hinting about going on a cruise with me? Or was he feeling left out? Was he figuring out whether I'd be interested in ever going on a cruise with him?) Maybe I was too upbeat because he announced he needed to leave to pack his bag for his business trip. His flight is at noon tomorrow but he seemed in a big hurry to leave.
It was like he was avoiding me. I gave him a shoulder massage. He was kind of affectionate while I rubbed his back but no intimacy this time. I am not sure whether he was mad at me for going away without him and having such a good time. Whether he was jealous about not being there. He did look a little tired and I know he's extremely busy at work.
Halfway during our conversation (as I rubbed his back), H: If I went with you on the trip, there's no way I could have walked 2.5 hours each day with you. Me: We would have taken breaks and stopped. H: No, my feet would not have managed that. Me: You could wear shoes. Lots of people wore shoes and ran or walked on the beach. H: I guess Me: My sisters have already book the trip to Hawaii in April H: You should go. (Me thinking: Is this the time to ask him to join us in Hawaii? Would he say "No" because of my sisters? I didn't ask him then because I felt he'd probably turn me down. Maybe I'll ask him later in an email. At least he can go there without a passport.)
From what he said about his business trip, it doesn't sound like he's looking forward to it. When he walked out the door, he said something like "I think I'll have as good a time at <> as you did on your trip". Was he feeling left out or mad at me for having a good time without him. I did mention that I got some attention so maybe he was jealous. But usually when he's been jealous, he'd want to ML. But not this time. I can't help waondering if he's distancing again on purpose. But then again, as he left, he also called me "Hon". He gave me a goodbye hug, no kiss. As I opened the door I reached up to kiss him and he let me kiss willingly. I don't know... but I did feel rejected and hurt.
