Frank, please read and re-read what Bill & Amy posted to you. I am here to tell you that you may feel alone; but, you are NOT. You have 2 beautiful daughters who love you and you have a God who loves you! (As well as your friends here.) I have learned that God not only loves us; but, he wants us to love HIM and HE will do whatever it takes for us to turn to HIM and trust in HIM. And, as cruel as it may sound, that includes shaking up our marriages.
Frank, when my ex-H dropped his bomb on me, I was so scared. I did not know how my children and I would survive financially on my income. But, I learned to trust in God. I began praying and talking to HIM every chance I got. At first, I prayed that HE would restore my marriage. Then, I learned to trust HIM and I began to pray that whatever happened be HIS will. I learned to let go and put my marriage in God's hands. I began to find peace in my life, again. I had people coming to me that were going through marital problems of their own and I was able to share scriptures and the lessons that I was learning with them. No, my marriage was not saved; but, as so many others have said before....I WAS! I found happiness in my life...in myself. And, I received more blessings than I could ever begin to name. My kids and I have never had to do w/out....God has taken care of us in so many ways!
Frank, Bill is right....your wife is killing you, maybe not physically, but, emotionally and mentally. And, eventually, this will take it's toll on your physical health. I can tell you that because I have been there, too. My ex-H lived at home for 3 months before I finally had to tell him to leave. He was so cruel to me. He would go days w/ out talking to me. He would get angry w/ me and cuss me out, pack a bag and leave (telling me that he wasn't coming back), only to come back the next night. He would be somewhat kind for a day or two and then turn on me again. Again, after 3 months of the MLC roller-coaster, I told him to get out...I told him that he was killing me from the inside out. I am afraid that this is what is happening to you.
Please, Frank, look deep within yourself and find your strength. It is there. If you have ever believed in God, then please seek HIS guidance and HIS will. And, try to find a pastor or someone to talk to. (My pastor became my best friend...my "big brother".) And, my Church family helped me in so many ways, as well. You can do this, Frank. If for no other reason, because you have 2 daughters who need you. Love them and be their rock. You are developing a foundation for a relationship that will only grow stronger and deeper. One that they will remember for the rest of their lives. Like my children, your girls are old enough to see so much of what is going on and they know which parent is doing what.
I apologize for such a long post. I just felt I needed to say these things to you. We are all here for you, Frank. Let us help you and draw strength from us, also.
