Hey everyone. Had an amazing day yesterday, but I will post later on it...just wanted to respond to everyone here first.

Quoting SBH-SAM:
Are you guys in C? Any good books on "marrying your 1st love?" or something like that? It's got to be a common difficulty, that wondering if there might be more. I still don't believe there is, but some people come to different conclusions...
We are not in C. My W was for a while (during her A) and I joined a couple of times, but it didn't help too much. In fact, my W continued her belligerence and there was no getting through to her at that point. We just kind of stopped. And frankly, I don't really have a problem with that. In terms of books, I never even thought to look, so I have no clue. Hmmm...

Quoting holdingon:
I haven't taken the time to read through your sitch (sorry, very tired and depressed today...). When did your wife leave and when did she come back and what if anything did you do/not do that prompted her to come back?
Hey holdingon. I say my W left in a figurative sense. She always lived at home, but was mentally gone for about a year. After I found out about her A, post two months of DBing, was when she began to "come home." I think I sometimes cause confusion with this because you're not the first to ask. Thanks for coming by...

Quoting Sue:
Positive generates positive...
I agree, Sue, and need to focus on this... Thanks.

Char, with the "disappointed" thing, it doesn't bother me as much as it may have come across in my post. I was kind of being silly with the whole mother/guilt thing. It does bite a little, but I would probably feel the same way she does. It's cool.

Quoting Char:
I think going back to assessing W's actions instead of her words is a good idea. Right? It's about winning YOU back? If you're feeling icky, work on you?
Agreed. She has been "showing" me she's trying. It's like JJ says, feelings can change from one moment to the next, so it's best not to focus so much on what's being said in the heat of the moment...

Quoting Char:
oh, btw ~ i'm psyched you told her you snooped. does W know about lies by omission? has W agreed to not do that?
i worry that you saying "don't ever lie to me again" would serve to distance W like you're some kind of authoritarian? I wonder what she'd say if you asked her about that?
My W said she wouldn't lie to me again, but she didn't seem very convincing. That's why I feel there are things she's not telling me. And it's not that I think she's cheating on me any longer. It's more about her feelings or things that may have transpired in the past that she's not telling me. In terms of acting authoritarian...yes, I did that... And I'm sure my W probably didn't care for it, but you know what, I'm sick of the BS. I cannot remain with someone that does this, Char. So was there a "hidden" threat? Kind of...sorry to say...

Thanks for coming by everyone. My next post will be...interesting... How's that for a teaser?

jethro