I would like suggestions (I know, more suggestions!) on what kind of goals to set. I already made a description of the H/M I want for MC:
1)I want an H who respects me and shows it by doing what he says, honoring commitments made, treating me with respect in word and action. For example, I need words of affirmation so I need a H who can say "I love you", hug me, kiss me, make time in his day for me even if some days it is only 15 minutes before bed b/c he has had other things going on....
2)I want a M where both parties can openly share their feelings without worrying about the reaction of the other. I want to have TRUST and LOVE and COMMITMENT as the foundation. To know that if one of us is going through a tough time, the other will shoulder the load, b/c that is what commitment means, sticking to it when times are tough (and I mean like when we thought our D had brain cancer and needed MRI's at 6 months, or the 3 times S was hospitalized w/dehydration from ear infections before he was 18 mos., NOT tough times like oops I am screwing someone else again )
3)I want us to be able to pursue our own interests/hobbies, but to also be just as committed to each other
4)I want us to do an equal job in the parenting, I don't want to always be assumed to be the one who is watching the kids while my H does whatever he wants and just figures I will take care of things.
Are those the goals you mean or do you mean my particular situation at the moment type goals? Like
1)H must openly admit he is wrong, he has been wrong, he has been a total idiot/fool for f'ing up in our M. Not a list of "poor me I am so lost" reasons why he strayed, a real, responsible, "Honestly there is no excuse for what I have done to you time and time again and I see no reason you should ever want me again, but I want to work hard until you do" type of apology.
Are either of those kinds of goals what you mean????I will have to re-read the book....
)
