I will say one thing for sure, It has nothing to do with you. It was all about me. It wasn't that I had a bad marriage or that I was upset with my wife. I was upset with everything! I wasn't good enough for anyone or anything so I backed off doing anything. If I felt the least bit down about something, I just quit. That included church, coaching sports, you name it.
Ok, here is the bad part as I see it. There is nothing you can do or say that will make any difference until they come out of the tunnel. All you can do, if you really love them is to be patient and wait it out. I was hateful, cold, mean, and everything else that goes along with it. But it was me, not them that had the issue. I just could not see it at the time from my perspective. The one thing that I will say, I never thought about leaving... I didn't care about the relationship, but I never really wanted to loose it either. I know that sounds stupid, but that is what I felt.
That's the part that's so hard about my wife now. She has all the signs of MLC, but with the WAW too. She wants out, doesn't love me, etc. So I have a lot of work to do.... I know I have put her through a lot and am so glad she stuck by me when she did. Now I have to do the same for her!
My only suggestion again, is to love them and don't take it personally. When they come out of this, if they are like me, they are going to be so wonderful, it's amazing. Now I still have my down times, but its like I have matured and can deal with all that now. Its a great thing to wait for!!!!
