So, just out of curiosity, I stumbled across a description of exit affairs - that is, an A used as an excuse to get out of a M rather than dealing with the problems. Given my W's ambivalence and her focus on OM, it seems highly likely that this is mainly what she's doing - choosing to use the A so that I end things (which I've done) rather than do it herself (which she tried but kept backpedaling on), although it is probably not 100% the case, since the whole work thing is part of the A as well.
This would fit in with her quickness to arrange for mediation, for her unwillingness to deal with problems, etc. It also sounds like there really is no reason for me to continue treating her with respect, other than upholding my own standards of conduct.
What is the best way to handle things if you suspect an exit affair? And any thoughts whether I should write my W a letter to make sure she knew why I had decided to go along with the D - i.e. boundaries, she was also responsible and we needed to work on problems together, etc.?
