My MLC

[fooled again]

SDog,

I am convinced that my H is going through MLC, though I think he may be slowly coming out of the tunnel. I thank you for posting, as I'm sure so many others do. I'm sorry that you find yourself here after all you have gone through, but you have a unique perspective since you have gone through this yourself. We on this side of MLC are constantly looking for ways to understand what is going on w/ our S, what can help, and what can hurt the process.

For me, I believe that I have reached that place where I am able to accept that MLC is, in fact, a process, and has little to do with me. The issue for me now is no longer what I should be doing to do while H is deep in MLC and not wanting to see me. I am no longer the enemy, and as he starts coming out of the tunnel, wanting to spend time w/ me, talking to me sometimes, but also showing quite a bit of frustration when I act in a more detached way, I find myself second guessing my actions far too often. Should I talk to him or should I leave him alone? Should I let him believe he could lose me or should I let him know I will always be here for him? Should I reach out to him should I let him be the one to reach out for me?

I would appreciate reading anything you may be able to write about what it felt like for you, what you were thinking and feeling at the time, what brought you out of it and what your W did or did not do that was positive for you.

I really admire you for what you are doing.

FA