Your current sitch is where I was 1 year ago. I did what you are doing and my W did what your W is. She cares about you and doesn't want to hurt you with details. Be thankful of this. I also thought that I NEEDED to know everything. You really don't.
Your R seems to be moving forward fairly well. The person most likely to screw it up is you. So don't. Appreciate what is going well and don't let the highs get too high or the lows get too low. Please, please, please don't snoop. All it did was kill my PMA most times I did it and for no good reason. It made me suspicious again and no matter how hard I tried to hide it, it showed in my interactions with her. Here is the line that got me over the hump. "If you trust too much you may be deceived, but if you trust too little you will be TORMENTED." It is actually quite easy, quit tormenting yourself.
This doesn't guarantee that she won't betray you again but nothing does. This guarantees you the best chance of a healthy R and you feeling good a lot faster than the path that you are on. I say this from experience. I extended my "ICU" visit on this board by not listening to the "elders" (Zebra,Kaw,Andy). The hardest part was caving in to my insecurities by snooping or just wondering if she was being honest with me. Come here when those insecurities hit instead of acting on them.
I think your R is heading in a very positive direction but it will continue to be a struggle. I think you are closer to your goals than you do.
