I saw KAW had read his W's journal and found out she wanted to be Mrs. OM... so, I mean to say, it could be much worse.
I know you don't want her lying to you. Noone wants to be lied to.
How safe is she to tell the truth? She's trying and doesn't want to mess things up. She doesn't want to tell you she saw OM cuz she doesn't want you to think that's more significant than it is. If she's like me, she's definitely trying to turn her own heart around.
Now, say you say something about your snooping... three things could happen
You could tell W you know she saw OM and that she lied and that you see it as a direct offense, and you can tell her you wont take it and that she needs to leave if she doesn't want to do her part in at least being honest with you.
W could get scared because she doesn't really want to leave you and apologize and swear she wont do it again, in which case, the process of turning her heart around will be easier. It will still have to take it's course, but it will be easier.
or
W could do what the folks above said... use it as fuel to justify seeking D. Like, "oh, I can't even get any privacy or respect around here, so it's HIS fault I'm leaving."
or
some combination of the two. prolonging Limbo Land.
Thing is, W's decision to stay with you and CHOOSE to love you is hers and hers alone. If you wish her to make that choice you need to be everything you'd be if you two were happy together. And unfortunately, the lion's share rests with you because you're the one DB'ing.
You should tell her you have her password, at least. That's so uncool. I can see looking in a journal if it's left out, but purposefully reading something she believes is private is just plain wrong, and you should admit your own wrongdoings too, maybe not directly, maybe just mention the importance of changing passwords often enough. YOU have to be honest too... then maybe you'll both agree that you are both failable.
Sometimes I say something I'm thinking and having said it takes the power out of it and it becomes untrue. Maybe your W is just testing out theories on her friend. Yes, she is lying to you. But you are lying to her too by reading her private messages and fishing for confessions. So don't be thinking you all that :P, k?????
(no intention of harshness... sometimes i'm harsh, i read that in one of H's "fill in the blanks" books
