Hey, Jethro...Krap is right! I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. I guess going back to the beginning of DR would be a good thing, and especially reading the chapter on affairs. Because, even if she's not having an affair with anyone in particular, she is really having a fantasy affair about whether there might be someone else better. Truth is, I doubt VERY MUCH if there would be - both because you seem like a very thoughtful and devoted man, and because EVERY marriage has its problems, EVERY person has their annoying traits (speaking as a very imperfect spouse, myself ), and if she would face reality, she'd realize this. But, few people in the place she's in are able to admit that truth about life...

I did realize this as my 2nd A began to dwindle, and I've always believed that if you truly love someone when you get married (which SBH&I DEFINITELY did) you can work through anything. I didn't realize it in time to break things off and come clean before SBH confronted me, but at least when he did confront me, it only took a couple of hours for me to be back on the commitment train. Since then, there were only two times when I even asked myself whether this was the right thing for me to be doing, and those two times were in the first month. And other than those two times specifically (minutes in lenght), I have felt 100%+ committed to making my marriage work. Oh, I didn't mean to go off on my stuff...just that all marriages have their problems and I think if you admit that, you can work through anything.

I just wish your W would admit it and stop daydreaming about "something better." My prayers are with both of you!

SBH-SAM