Thanks so much hopeful, things are definitely a bit different. We had a 20 minute conversation where she talked at least 15 of it. Keeping dog, etc...when I told her I was out all night and real tired she said "oh really" definitely some sort of interest. I then told her truck broke but she had no question of why out to begin with...or 5D bathing the other day taking long time I said I think I am to blame for that and she said "just like her daddy"...
Having blabbed about all that...I am not getting invites. That would to me fell like moving into stage 3. And perhaps her also. I'd love to have the conversations you describe but I do feel I need to wait before I try to call for these kind of conversations. She is not asking "how are you doing" yet...
I did mention an event 5D is going to be involved in and parents asked to attend...WAW will be out of town, but she was very interested and asked details like where, when, and this could be a sign toward stage 2.
Anyhow, thanks so much for the insight...it's very helpful and gives me something to look for and to look-forward to.
Since the intensive I have been leaving it up to him to contact me. I was surprised that he attempted on sat. and sun. to spend time with me. I plan on beginning coaching again b/c we are squarely in stage 2. He is having knee surgery on Fri which I will take him to and pick him up from. I am hoping that this will be an opportunity to nudge us closer to stage 3. A few months ago when mentioning that he would need surgery I said that I could help him out, but he said that he would be fine however, when he had surgery on his other knee for the same problem he was OOC for weeks. Thanks for asking!
Last edited by HOPEFULinCALI; 03/10/0803:36 PM.
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
Seems different to me...before no help, now he wants your help...definitely positive...and taking him...that's great.
I tried asking to get WAW mail while she was gone...she said "no thanks, it's not a big deal, I don't get that much mail anyhow." I said, "just wanted to offer, have fun on your trip, I know you'll have a great time." Maybe next time I can get the knee...I mean mail...lol. I do get to keep the dog...
I am hoping that this will be an opportunity to nudge us closer to stage 3.
I can think of nothing more loving than for one to take care of another...so if he wants you to help out at all, such as taking/picking up, maybe help when he is home...I think that is a huge positive. Especially, if he wants you to do just about anything for him when he is home.
This is a lesson for me in PMA. Shortly after our 1st separation I became really sick for a few weeks and he waited on me hand and foot and, while I was grateful, it didn't turn me around. Here goes the PMA. I think it didn't affect me because this wasn't "something different" while be taking care of him will be "something different".
Our puppy is a good excuse too. Because our puppy is especially needy he will not be able to attend to her and will realize that he needs me to at least take care of her. It will be a good thing for him to know that I care. And it is great that he wants me to help.
Thanks for the encouragement.
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
Shortly after our 1st separation I became really sick for a few weeks and he waited on me hand and foot and, while I was grateful, it didn't turn me around.
mine wouldn't let me...I just noticed she was not feeling well. And she acknowledged...still early in stage 1, so that kind of help definitely not wanted. I would have done the hand, foot, etc...and I imagine no difference then either...
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Our puppy is a good excuse too.
Interesting you say that because it an interesting variable that I noticed also. Did he have the puppy before 1st knee? If so, you'll definitely have an opportunity to see a difference...if not I am curious what he wants you to do...It is still helping him and I think that's great, if you get your chance. My WAW is visitiing her brother out of state. She has gone and visited family during holidays or whatever before and took the dog with her, boarded it, had someone take care of it or whatever...this time I was asked to keep the dog blah blah...it's something different, who knows what it means...but it is definitely something different for you to notice.
mine wouldn't let me...I just noticed she was not feeling well. And she acknowledged...still early in stage 1, so that kind of help definitely not wanted. I would have done the hand, foot, etc...and I imagine no difference then either...
Would that have been a 180 for you or?
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Interesting you say that because it an interesting variable that I noticed also. Did he have the puppy before 1st knee? If so, you'll definitely have an opportunity to see a difference...if not I am curious what he wants you to do...It is still helping him and I think that's great, if you get your chance.
That reminds me that he did say this weekend, when I asked about the dog, that SHE wanted to know when I was going to visit and that anytime was good for him. We talk about her like she is human...weird...I know. We didn't have the puppy when he had his first knee surgery and he needed a lot of help then so I imagine with a needy puppy he will soon want my help if he doesn't already (we haven't talked about it). I have to ask my coach, but I will suspect that if she finds it a good idea to help him out that I will have to make sure that it is seen as a "friendly" gesture and not as a wife.
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
yeah, perhaps me keeping my dog while she is visiting her brother out of state is a friendly gesture...she asked me. Who knows. I am curious if things will be different when she gets back...
I hope you get to wait on him hand and foot...like I said nothing more loving then that kind of opportunity.
If nothing else, looks like your going to get puppy time and that's something. Especially when he says
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when I asked about the dog, that SHE wanted to know when I was going to visit and that anytime was good for him.
Anytime...that's nice to know...kind of like free invite(s). Use them wisely...
yeah, perhaps me keeping my dog while she is visiting her brother out of state is a friendly gesture
Michele said to look out for signs of him opening up to much, such as this. To him it is a friendly gesture, she says, but he is allowing me to get closer to him.
He still hasn't filed so that's a plus, but it is still frustrating to hear that it is over yet he hasn't filed so I am guessing something is holding him back. I wish he would wake up already. It's hard to believe the person that he has become.
