What I find interesting is that if the OW or OM can't live up to being the "better option", why should we?
Isn't DB-ing, partly, about being the "better option"?
Can we really rescue a marriage by being "the best possible" person we can be? Furthermore, can we really live under the psychic burden that our changes need to be permanent and that we really can't slip up anymore?
Dunno...made me think.
--Theoden
Well, in my case, I have seen a C for help with my depression and gone on AD's and resolved my depression to a great extent so I feel so much better. I have also been working on my "doormat" issues and being stronger and more self-confident. I am GALing a lot, making a lot of friends. Since I have always been kind of shy I have been trying to work on that, working on my fears and doing things like the play I am in. I am pushing myself to do things I wouldn't have done before, and I can feel myself getting more self confident every day.
I think that's what DB is about: working on yourself and your weaknesses and maybe what led to problems in your relationship in the first place. If H and I ever did reconcile, big if, but I think our relationship would have a better chance now because of the changes I have made. Of course, he would also have to make major changes too. I don't think any of the changes I have made are faky or anything that is something that should cause me a psychic burden, but rather are changes that are good for me. Karen
Karen
