Hmmm...interesting responses on the philosophical discussion. Thanks everyone. Seems everyone has their own spin on what "in love" means. As though I should be suprised...
So...I want to take this touching/sex thing a step further...
Quoting Char:first of all, jethro, I definitely KNOW how W feels when you want sex. she thinks... oh, it's just about sex, it's not about ME or LOVE, or ME, or ME... it's all about HIM... honestly? Withholding what your spouse really needs is more than cruel.
Well, not sure how my posts come across in terms of how my W "touches" me or how much we have sex, so I'm going to be a little more clear to illicit opinions from you guys on what "normal" relations may be.
Sex has always been a point of contention with my W and I. In fact, she wanted me to ask you guys about this to see what you say. I've always had a strong sex drive and I guess you could say my W's has been more normal (whatever that means). I would be happy with every other day. But, we ususally end up having sex twice a week. Now, every great once in a while she goes through periods of time where she wants to have sex more often, and this is great. When she was having her A, we were having sex more often (ugh ). In fact, I think that was the only thing getting me by, as I was pretty much having NO other affection from her at all. Right after I found out about her A (for a few weeks), we were doing it at least once a day. Now that things have settled down a bit, it's back to the twice a week, and even now she seems to get annoyed when I "push" for that.
This bothers me because I like to be close to her in this way, my LL is touch, I think she's gorgeous, etc. It's not just "getting off," it's about having strong feelings for my W, feeling close to her emotionally and physically. Are we "normal" here? Am I asking too much? Should I back off? The rejection is really getting to me...as it has always gotten to me... You know, makes me feel unwanted... Naturally, she says it's not because I'm not attractive, that she's not abnormal, and that most women are fine with once/week. In her mind, our relations are normal. But I'm still not satisfied. (I know...me...me...me...)
I know some of you guys would feel lucky to have it twice a week, but let's face it, what we're going through isn't the norm, and I want to base my assessment on the norm.
). In fact, I think that was the only thing getting me by, as I was pretty much having NO other affection from her at all. Right after I found out about her A (for a few weeks), we were doing it at least once a day. Now that things have settled down a bit, it's back to the twice a week, and even now she seems to get annoyed when I "push" for that.
