Hey LL, KAW, LR23, SBH, and SBH-SAM. Thanks for the visits. So, SBH and SBH-SAM, I'm glad you guys got things worked out. This boundary thing can be difficult sometimes.

So, I have a couple of things I want to address, and mostly it comes as a result of Charcoal's last post in the WAW Syndrome thread. Her quote that got me is: "he's not letting me forget that he knows what's happened here".

My W and I had a tough R talk last night and I went off a bit and not sure that I should have...feeling kind of crummy about it today. In the last couple of weeks she has begun distancing herself (physically) from me. My "love language" is touch, so this gets to me a bit more than normal. Additionally, her sex drive is way down, which also bugs me because mine is always up (errr...no pun intended). In any case, I mentioned how it's really bothering me how she's not making more of an effort to meeting my love language, etc. Got a bit heated because it came as a result of being rejected for sex (again). She gets pissy because she thinks it's only about sex and I try to tell her that it's just part of it, but certainly not all of it. I need affection dammit! The woman barely kisses me. I end up saying some rough things, most of which revolve around her A (which, in some cases were valid)...but certainly not all necessary.

So, Char's quote gets to me because I think I'm getting stuck in the past more than I should rather than looking on how to move forward with the information I now have. Lately things have been pretty rough for me, so I'm trying...but it's not easy... I guess I just need to shift my mind-set. Got to focus on what she is doing, and not what she isn't...

Also, reading Char's last post brought up something else that I just wanted to throw out there, philosophically speaking. The question is "What does it mean to not feel in love?" I tend to wonder if it's possible to feel "in love" with our Ses after being together for a long time. I mean, we always love them, but that "in love" state is, as far as I can tell, simply a heightened sense of euphoria based on some illusion of romantic love (odd coming from a romantic, huh?).

From my situation, it seems to me that WAs experience no feeling (or have deadened feelings), and this seems to drift into other portions of life (such as feelings for children, other family members, and friends). However, they feel most "dead" with us because we are supposed to represent the one in which they are supposed to be in love with...to have the MOST feelings for, in other words... Now that the feelings in general have deadened, our WAs think we represent the biggest hole. And thus, it's time to run and find it elsewhere.

What do you guys think? Maybe I had too much sun this weekend. Visited my sis in Palm Desert...about 105...

jethro