Just when things were getting better....WHAM! MLM zings me once again!
Just a bit of history...MLM accused me of "cluster-f*cking" the finances...so, being the control freak that he has always been----he sends me this nice e-mail about all the expenses HE has incurred and the ones I have incurred in our still joint account.
My expenses include dog food, vet bills, monthly bill for our home owners insurance---yeah, because these are MY expenses...not expenses that we have every month or for the dogs that HE wanted and walked away from or the house that HE also walked away from...
He still blames me for our finances are in the state they are in...so I sent him an e-mail telling him if he is blaming me for all this crap to just say it and get it over with...I know NOT good DBing but the shot I am taking for my endometriosis is making me super-aggressive and I can really feel it now.
Right now, i just want to tell him EXACTLY what i think of him and his complete stupidity.
Luckily, I still have a little sense left...and have not done that...YET
So, it's another day in paradise for me...hope you all are having a better day...
Shout out to Chica on her BIRTHDAY!!! Love ya babe!!!!
Valentine
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Um (insert eye roll ) Gosh Always, stop rubbing it in that you are going to live by the Princess, and we are gonna share
He is sooooooooooo anal, with the money stuff. Gosh just like Javier ick.
The fact that he still has a joint account with you just goes to show you that you just can't get rid of him mami. And if you kick his ass he will probably enjoy it.
YAY thank you for making today special for me.
love you
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
Val, how are you feeling? With you having to battle endometriosis, do not worry about DBing. Concentrate on yourself 100%. The last thing you need to do is deal with stress. Let it slide right off your back.
Praying for you!
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
Okay, so the stress must be getting to me...as I have been suffering from strep since Monday!!! WTF?
I had a killer migraine 2 weeks ago and now this????
My endometriosis and the treatment is really attacking my immune system. I have never been sick so much in my entire life. The stress of all this shite is taking a toll on my health.
Then MLM comes by 2 days in a row to 'visit'...that was nice, I guess.
who knows???? Maybe he thinks I am making this up but since i am not a whiner in really any way shape or form (until my H went thru MLC that is) me complaining about being sick is unusual.
You are right, MMF, I DO need to concentrate on myself 100%. I don't really DB, I just look out for #1 at this point. My H is not my H right now and I don't know if he ever will be so I gotta take care of myself.
I worry about others on this board b/c it seems that they get lost in DBing---which is good---but NOT good if it means your health. I don't think Michele would disagree with me...physical health is extremely important.
Thanks for your prayers....I really need them!!
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Jinkies, reading others threads and getting inspiration...
thinking about my sitch...I have it pretty good, if you could say that ANYONE had it good on this board.
And yet, it is not enough.
I know there are some who will say what a brat I am that I cannot be happy with my sitch...but I think there is much stagnation in my sitch and, because my sitch is 'pretty good', both my H and I have become quite comfortable in the basic limbo that we live in.
he pays the bills...but yet I have to hear about every little freaking thing---which I don't share here because you would probably try to convince me to do some talking with a baseball bat (I think of Annie everytime I get this visual!) to make him shut up.
At some point, you have had ENOUGH.
Yet, that is an oxy-moron because what he gives is NOT enough yet i have had ENOUGH of his bs....now how does that work?
ANyone with any suggestions or potential answers, please feel free to let me know.
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
I am so glad you are taking care of your health first. It is so important.
I wonder why he feels the need to share every detail with you? I can relate to the frustration.
You could do what us guys do. Appear to be listening but be lost in thought a 100 miles away. It may be difficult but it is easy for us men. We have a bigger challenge in focusing when people are talking to us.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
You know darlin, I have been doing a lot of thinking over the last week and kind of am coming to a place where I am simply unconcerned about my spouse at this point.
I don't necessarily think you have to either be a DB champ, or say you have had enough. Too Black and white for me. I personally have decided to try a new tactic, a combination of paying very little attention to her actions, being myself again with her (meaning forget all the anger and frustration and be Ian), and trying to be as compassionate as I can with her.
Mind you I am not accepting her bad actions, nor am I condoning her decisions. I am merely taking a stance of when I see her do something very stupid (your H and my W seem to have this in common) I kind of look within myself and let my inner voice say "awe, poor thing is just so lost".
Anyway, I hope you get the gist of what I am saying. I don't know if it helps you any or not, but it has certainly made me a little more at ease and less stressed out.
MMF, I have no idea why he feels the need to share...go figure.
Actually, I have been doing exactly what you mentioned...I appearto be listening...but sometimes I am a million miles away...try not to do that too often as that was one of his complaints and I have to admit that he had a point.
Anyhow, I really just take it all in and continue to do my thing...
Hugs, Vali
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
