I don't know that I think the drinking together or Vegas are good ideas. Haveing a couple of drinks is ok, IF you're stong enough to 1. keep your lip zipped and listen. 2. Tell her you're not going to talk with her if she starts to spew. In all honesty, I can take spew for a bit and it lets me validate stuff. That doesn't mean for long periods though and the only reason I can listen at all is my H doesn't let his anger out in constructive ways, so if he's talking (to a point) I'm listening.
