Well, not sure how comfortable I feel with our "resolution" about her hanging out with divorcee and BF thing...
So, I brought my e-mail up with her a couple of times and it was hard to talk about it because of constant distractions. All in all, she wasn't angry with me. She said that she'd be more cognizant of these things, but she can't control when divorcee's "kind-of" BF comes over, and she doesn't feel comfortable saying to her friend, "is BF coming over tonight?" Then, if yes, she won't go over. Whatever. I'm sure she could find a more tactful method of avoidance, but won't put forth the effort.
I told her that I asked you guys and that most of you said she shouldn't. Wasn't sure what her reaction would be, but it was favorable. I think she actually thought about it. You see, I think she respects you guys because, one, you helped me through this crisis, and two, you encouraged me to work things out with her. SBH-SAM, I made a special point of telling her that someone in her sitch (you) also told me the same thing.
LL, yes, that was my W that said another A would likely kill her because of the stress. Thing is, I know mothers who say they'll never have another kid after the first, and within two years choose to have another because they "forget." Frankly, and this may sound harsh, but little of what she says offers me a whole lot of comfort. I guess only time will make this better. History shows me that she does not know how to set appropriate boundaries, and I'm afraid that between us, it's a difference of opinion that will never be totally resolved.
Quoting Randy:How far do I have to go back to see how and when your WAW came home? Why don't you suggest the 4 of you going out to eat or something then you can see how they treat each other.
Hey Randy, thanks for coming by. Well, all of us have gone out and the guy is nice, respectful, and conservative, but honestly, that means nothing. Feelings for another can develop over a short period of time or a long period of time. The more contact, the more likely it is to happen. The law of averages...
Quoting SBH-SAM:Another way to approach it would be to ask her does SHE worry about her boundaries.
Good thought, but I kind of asked this and I know the answer. She would say that she'd never put herself through that experience again. Also, she says she is NOT attracted to this guy and has 0 interest. My point? Doesn't matter because in a few months she might. She'll still deny it though.
Hope you guys had a great weekend. We went camping, froze our butts off, then came home a day early.
