HI, Jethro...sounds like you guys aren't communicating so well...are you in counseling? Sometimes that is a good place to bring up touchy issues, like "you have never had good boundaries..." that would be a hard one to hear for sure!
Another way to approach it would be to ask her does SHE worry about her boundaries. Not sure if she's being honest with you & herself yet about this. It's so hard to do. If you can somehow get the message to her that you love her and you want her to feel good about herself and you just want to help her learn about boundaries...blah, blah, blah. I dont' have a very good sense of who she is, haven't read as much as I'd like to of your sitch, but the "are you concerned about this" approach sometimes works wonders...
SBH & I had a really good and really awful (in a good way) fight via email last week. We said mean things to each other - just let loose. In therapy when we talked about it, we realized that because of email timing, we both ended up with the apology from the other person before we got the mean mean stuff. That was weird, and maybe it wouldn't have gone so well if cyberspace hadn't stepped in. But it felt pretty good to let loose. We don't do that to each other face to face. I think we maybe should sometimes...there was no name calling or anything, just raw anger being shared.
But we were able to talk & hug and forgive at the end of the day. That's the important part. Seems like your W withdraws from that kind of contact. I hope she can learn to open up to you and get the good that always comes with the bad when you love each other...
I'm going to look at the Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness book you recommended to SBH...Feeling like I'd better get my PMA up or else!!!!
