I've seen your posts on others threads and liked what I saw coming from you so I decided to go and read some of your threads. I read most of your first thread and some of this one along with the misc posts to others.
I admire your determination to make your m work. I don't begrudge you having your ea but for reasons no doubt now obvious to you I wish you hadn't.
So why am I posting to you? It seems we have similar h's...only differences are you are 60 and I am 35, my h was the one to have the ea and it wasn't on the computer, my h moved out and wanted a d (was not living here for at least 9 months), and my h may be an alchoholic.
I don't know how you mangaged to stay m to your h for as long as you have with no sign of change from him. It's frustrating. I'm still young, my children are still young and all I can think is "is it worth it" especially given the fact that there seems no hope of things getting better than me just accepting that this is the way things are.
If you look at when I became a member of this bb it was 7 years ago while h was gone, with ow and wanting a d. I racked up plenty of posts, used to be a regular. I've come and gone over the years and know that I can't get wrapped up in others sit too much like I used to but do miss the understanding that comes from it. I had plenty of people (still do sometimes) telling me to "do something different" and then offer up a something different that I'd already tried without success or change. I've had plenty of people tell me my happiness was/is in my own hands (yes that's true but my m is not in my own hands that's why there are two people in a m).
I believe in DB but I'm starting to wonder if it really is for everyone. If this idea that every m is worth saving (unless there is physical abuse) and can be saved might just be what is causing me strife and labeling myself a would be was.
I don't know exactly what it is I mean to be saying to you other than to let you know there's someone else here who's benefiting from your honesty about your sit.
I'm here in piecing if you want to take a look...I have had so many threads over the years that I can't find them anymore...they are too old and it would take a new person forever to read through them all anyway.
