I SURVIVED!!!!!! the party was a success for the most part, I'd say. S3 got a wee bit overwhelmed...too many people in his space I think. but D3 lapped up all the attention, and S3 did have some fun at least. My house absorbed the kids better than I expected, although, yes, it was crazy. and the parents seemed to have a nice time as well, so all is good.
I did find myself slipping into an old pattern with H once or twice, not in a good way, and i snapped at him once but really overall we did well together. But next year, oh yeah, we'll have the party at a place. with twins, its just too many people. unless I want to do separate parties, which I really don't want to do right now...figure when they are older we likely will, but not for now.
anyway, can breathe easier. so now I just have to get thru this week...the week of the bomb....the week of a lot of really tough memories. but I need to let that river flow, feel them, and then can move on cleanly.
I do have a huge proud, btw. When h was leaving he said he'd be by on wedn instead of tuesday this week because wedn is the twins actual b-day. my proud is I did NOT snap back at him about how last year he didn't want to be there on their b-day, why now? (last year he left on their birthday for a week with the whore, I thought it was all work, and he spent their birthday with HER). so that is progress.
off to make more cupcakes, this time for the twins to take to school tomorrow. I swear I am the cupcake queen I have made so many the last few days. lol.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
