Well, I really want to thank everyone for their detailed feedback. You guys are great! It's VERY much appreciated...and unfortunately, makes my stomach turn a bit more. I think I need to be more clear about this situation for you guys, so you can better understand.

Thing is, the guy is nice...pretty conservative...not that that means much these days, and we have done stuff as couples before...any number of times. My W has vehemently claimed she has NO attraction to him whatsoever. Well, my point to her is that she didn't have any attraction to OM at first either. The reason I don't join them is because my W goes over to divorcee's house in the evenings while I watch the kiddies. Divorcee has her own son, and since she's D'd, can't come over to our house because nobody is there to watch her S...otherwise, I expect that would happen more often.

My W, to this day, is still very strong-willed about making sure she has other Rs outside of ours. She doesn't mean with OMen, but with her girlfriends. So, she likes to take off at least once/week to do this...and I think that's fine. But girlfriend time is girlfriend time...and should not involve another man.

Now, after receiving some feedback yesterday from you guys, I wrote my W a long e-mail expressing my concerns and such. It may seem cowardly, but I can express myself significantly better using this medium. In any case, I get home at the same time as her (she hadn't read the e-mail yet), then she immediately goes upstairs to read her e-mail and sees it. She didn't say much to me and was ticked off about it. In fact, we spoke very little last night at all...had the big white elephant in the room syndrome. Now, I suppose my timing could have been better with the e-mail because she's stressing out about our son and how our R has been with him lately. It's really getting to her. So, I added this stuff on top of her already stressful day.

We cordially talked about my son in the evening, and later, while I was preparing a marinade for tonight's dinner, I asked her if she wanted to talk. Her response was no. I expect I might get an e-mail back today, but I'm not sure. In fact, given the past, it's possible she won't ever bring it up...which is contrary to what we should be doing (but I'm hoping that dynamic has changed).

I'm getting very uncomfortable because this very much reminds me of the conversations we used to have about her going out all of the time and not really listening to what I was saying about her boundaries then. The past seems to be resurfacing. In reality, she's always had a problem with boundaries, but if I tell her this, I can expect a very angry W. So, how do I approach this? Her hackles are already up, she's in fight/defensive mode even though I'm not biting.

The only good thing I can say is that last night she fell asleep on the couch fairly early. When I woke up early this morning to go workout, she said something along the lines that she got a really good sleep and feels much better. But that was all...and I hope I can interpret that to not only mean about our son, but also about this situation. Again, I'll have to wait and see.

Anyway, thanks again guys. I'm tempted to tell her that you guys (the "peeps" as she calls you) for the most part agree with me (except KAW), but that might not work too well either... She has expressed in the past that she thinks it's nice I have a place to go to vent/talk about our sitch.

jethro