Hey Jethro, you poor bastard...it is quite a shame that your wife doesn't "get it," especially after you have expressed your concerns and worked so hard dbing. The following is not IMHO, it is just a fact that she should NOT be placing herself in ANY situations that make you pause for even the slightest moment wondering if she is attracted to the man in some way. You read Sams post just above, she visited an ex client and I trusted her completely. I feared for her safety, but I trusted her and I have always had issues with trust; it is something I don't do very well. However, I felt that trusting her completely would be a great way of demonstrating how much I loved her. So, I didn't let it bother me and I trusted her.
After all that has happened since, would I allow that again? F*** no!
If your wife really wants this m to work out, she better open her eyes and pay a little more attention to your feelings. Or if this is some silly little test she is making you go through to measure your trust in her, she needs to rethink it. Your efforts at dbing should be enough to show her how much you care. If she is aware this makes you uncomfortable and is still doing it, she is not showing respect for you or your feelings. That little twinge you have in your stomach telling you this doesn't feel right is there for a reason: you KNOW this is a big issue! If it hurts her feelings that you don't trust her, too bad. She cheated on you, man.
Tell her to get her priorities straight. I hope this post doesn't bother you, but I see what she is doing as just plain wrong and I have witnessed how much pain she has caused you...and it is wrong for her to make you feel the way you do. Even you told me it takes time to be willing to trust your spouse once betrayed. Your wife needs to give you that time and not expect that things are ok just because you are still working on the marriage.
You are NOT overreacting or being insensitive. She is pushing those bounderies again.
You, and everyone else on these boards, are in my prayers. Be well.
