Scripture and Faith

[tpaschal]

I really hope that this is not a permanent change for our spouses, i.e. that they are through with motherhood. To me, they act more like aunts or other relatives that have a less emotional interest than a mom.

Of course, I think that eventually they will be pulled back emotionally but I hope it is not long after the kids move on because of a lack of emotional investment on the part of our wives.

Hi, MMF. I am fairly new to posting around here, but I've been lurking since the spring and have followed your sitch. Your steady faith and reliance on God has helped me more than once, as I keep struggling with the concept of "let go and let God." I'm a control freak by nature, and I know that one of the important lessons God has for me in the midst of all this is to be still. To learn patience and reliance on Him and His timeline, instead of trying to force things to follow the timeline I want.

I just wrote a post in my own thread (although it may have been the post that my computer ate!) about how so many of the MLC'ers actions while in MLC seem to be the exact opposite of who they were before. I said that it seems as though my own H wants to be the fond uncle or family friend rather that a real DAD! So what you wrote above really struck me.

This does seem to be true of so many MLC'ers, both male and female. I don't understand how any parent could so easily walk away from their kids, but then, I'm not the one in MLC! It really is a CRISIS. Who my H is now is SOOOOO different than the man that I knew, the man that his kids and his parents and all our extended family and friends knew.

He wants to reinvent himself and become a new person, and I think if he could rewrite history in order to no longer be a father, he would. His kids remind him that he is NOT 21, there's no way he can REALLY have a do-over, and he DOES have real life duties and responsibilities to three little souls. Those are all things this "new person" doesn't want to face, so it's easier to detach emotionally and stay away physically as much as possible.

I also think they are so selfishly self-involved that they just don't have the emotional maturity or depth to truly give of themselves to ANYONE. Not to the OW, not to the LBS, not even to their own kids.

Anyway, just wanted to share because what you wrote above was so similar to exactly what I'd been thinking recently.